Tuesday, 27 March 2012


It's my birthday today. To celebrate this my wife has brought me home, sort of. We are staying in Mevagissey some forty minutes from where I was born and raised. Today we visited the harbour town of Polperro, by far my favourite place on the globe.

Tomorrow we hit lands end, st michaels mount and portreath. It's amazing the therapeutic effect being home has had on me. I haven't felt this good in years.

In summery there is always something special to be found in remembering where you came from.

Sunday, 18 March 2012

Who am I?

This may be self exploration or self indulgence. Either way it's a question I've been asking myself a lot recently.

I have a degenerative eye condition, my father died when I was young, my mother became an abusive alcoholic, I joined the military and as a result the people I formed the closest relationships with in my life are now dead. Does any of this tell me who I am?

I am married to an incredible and beautiful woman, I have a job I love most of the time for which I am paid very well. I have a mortgage and life is very secure. Does any of this tell me who I am?

I am very intelligent, more intelligent than most, often in my life I have had to insult myself, dumb myself down or even invent lies about mistakes I've made in order to prevent people around me feeling threatened by my intelligence. If you do this long enough you start to believe the lie you make for yourself and this leads to chronic low self esteem and confidence indirectly knocking down your assertiveness. As a plus everyone I know in life and work always refer to me as a "really nice guy". Is this who I am?

How do I find the answers? And why do I feel I can't be truly happy until I know?