Wednesday, 31 March 2010

Note to my Patients

Dear Patients

When you come to my Accident and Emergency department complaining of chest pain and I ask if you have any history of heart problems could you please tell me the truth. When you say "No" I assume you havent had those two myocardial infarctions you will later tell the doctor about. It doesnt matter that they were "only minor" when you lie to me it scraps whatever credibility I may have as a student nurse with the doctors. When a patient is diabetic we know to double the number of cream cakes they say they have eatten today, when they are smokers we know to treble the number of cigarettes they claim to have smoked, and with alcoholics its always a factor of four. This should not be the case with heart attacks.

When you do things like this it makes me angry, and there is only one way my professional armour allows me to deal with that anger. So when you lie to me and make it look like I cant take an accurate history do not become upset when I become extremely sarcastic. Please remember when you lie to me, that although I may not have a fancy stethoscope around my neck my fraying patience is the one controlling your oxygen supply.

Yours ever so sincerely

Disgruntled Student Nurse

1 comment:

Vincent said...

I never thought of this. They have signs about avoiding violent and threatening behaviour towards staff, but this could be worse! Yes, the nurse must have some kind of weapon in self-defence. Sarcasm sounds the best, though with time and age it may be possible to be formidable with a mere look and tone of voice. Suddenly I think of Sir Lancelot Spratt, as played by James Robertson Justice.