For the last week I've spent several hours a day sat in front of a blank word processing window with the learning outcomes for an assignment due in on friday in my hands. Fortunately its only 1500 words which I could crack out in a few hours however I cant seem to find the motivation to start. I'm not procrastinating, I sit down every day with the intention of writing, I dont get distracted I just cant seem to find the words to start. I'm exhausted and this is a really boring assignment. "A critical reflection of placement three of the interprofessional learning unit"(IPLU). I'm sure you've heard me rant about the futility of this module before however for once, in this third year it has proven constructive.
Our group was made up of a med student, four nursing students(two adult branch like myself), a social work student, a physiotherepy student and two radiotherapy students (one diagnostic one theraputic). We were assigned a task, to audit the correct and safe use of the hospitals Venous ThromboEmbolysm(VTE) (things like pulmonary embolisms and deep vein thrombosis) risk assessment forms. These forms came as standard in the nursing admission packs so in theory all patients admitted to the hospital should have been risk assessed for VTE and any procautionary measures put in place. We had to take samples from different wards, two medical, two surgical, two orthopaedic, reviewing ten patient notes per ward. We were looking for completed risk assessments, patient age, gender and cause of admission so we could identify which groups were being overlooked(not that any should have been). Once we had collected and analysed our data we had to compile a ten thousand word report covering our methods and findings and at the end of the two weeks we were to give a twenty minute presentation to the relevent members of staff.
The work was facinating not in the least because my father died of a pulmonary embolism ruled as medical negligence at the age of twenty-seven. I found this as a refreshing opportunity to reaquiant myself with a leadership role, a role rarely suitable for a student nurse, although we are encouraged to take some leadership responsibilities on clinical placement.
So why am I having such a hard time writing this assignment? the criteria have drained all the fun out of it, I am not to mention the subject matter just the groups interactions and my role in achieving the final objective. I find it hard to write about myself in a critical light at the best of times, I go with the flow of self-loathing and low self-esteem. Another reason I might not be getting this assignment done is because I am sat here, writing this.....which is far more enjoyable and more than a little cathartic after a week of writers block.